It’s hard

This is something I wrote to myself a little while ago. It’s a little different from what I usually post because I didn’t write it with the intent of sharing it, but I hope it is something you can relate to or learn from!

“It’s hard”

It’s hard.

It’s hard to wake up in pain.

It’s hard to fall asleep in pain.

It’s hard to concentrate, and take tests, and write papers in pain.

It’s hard to sit at a dinner table in pain.

It’s hard to be social, have a conversation, or even be around other people when you’re in pain.

It’s hard to have energy when it hurts all the time.

It’s hard to say “no” to someone or something because of pain.

It’s hard to believe that you aren’t crazy or making it up.

It’s hard to be around people who don’t understand the way you feel.

It’s hard to feel like you have to justify your pain to everyone else.

It’s hard. It’s really, really hard to be in pain.

Especially when it doesn’t go away.

But it’s ok to think it’s hard. Because I can do hard things.

_

For a long time, I wouldn’t let myself say that things were hard for me. I thought that if I admitted something wasn’t easy, I was weak. When I thought about my chronic pain, I told myself I was “handling things,” but all I really did was pretend that they were always fine, even when they weren’t.

So when the new year rolled around and I reflected on myself, I realized I wasn’t handling things; I was hiding them. I was pretending everything was easy because I was afraid of admitting that some things are hard.

In this new year, I’m allowing myself to recognize hard things. Because saying that something is hard is not the same as giving up.

This year, we’re all going to experience hard things. Maybe they carry over from years past, or maybe they’re new and unexpected. But we don’t have to pretend those hard things aren’t there.

It’s okay to say “it’s hard.” Because we can do hard things.

5 thoughts on “It’s hard

  1. Hope Shamberg January 2, 2020 / 12:17 am

    I love This… and you.

    Like

  2. Grandma Janice January 2, 2020 / 9:30 am

    I love that you were able to share this-it certainly opened my eyes and heart. I love you and want you to know that I hope days of pain are less and less not only for you but for all who suffer from their own pain .
    Love,
    Grandma Janice

    Like

  3. Beth January 2, 2020 / 1:38 pm

    Becky, Thanks for sharing this honest and personal post! You are helping to teach others that it doesn’t mean you are weak to face hard things, it actually means you are so strong! I admire your strength.

    Like

    • Rick Shamberg January 2, 2020 / 5:33 pm

      Thanks Becky. It made me think that there are two kinds of pain, physical pain and emotional pain. Both are hard in various ways but we are all built to withstand pain and act our way through it rather than taking the easier softer way, around it. Love you and here’s to a healthy new year.

      Like

  4. susan January 10, 2020 / 6:42 pm

    Becky, this is amazing. Thank you for writing and sharing it!

    Like

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